I recently ran across this picture. It’s from 2016. It taken at a local CrossFit competition shortly after the death of my mother. When I see this picture, I recall how I felt, physically and emotionally, on that day. The heaviness of the moment.
My grandparents had died a couple decades earlier and my father a half-dozens years before my mother. My work was an interesting challenge, but the culture was toxic. There were a lot of adult matters to address like emptying and selling my childhood home. In this picture, I can feel the weight of that moment and the toll the recent years had taken.
It wasn’t the first time that I’d been in an emotional valley such as this. Over the years, I’d experienced some dark moods, but I’d also found ways to work through them. Confiding in a friend. Listening to Pema Chodren. Contemplating while hiking through the woods. Diving into things like jujitsu and CrossFit.
Today, I feel that heaviness again. It’s time to start a cycle of renewal. To be introspective. To dive into something new. To hike and listen to Pema. To find my way to the other side as I have before. To endure and transform during the scourge of the pandemic and our nation’s failed leadership.
It’s time for a comeback.